Goodbye Betty, Not-So-Crocker

Today I mourn the loss of a woman who was a source of many discussions at my Women's College. Betty Friedan's book, "The Feminine Mystique", inspired the Women's Movement in the United States and encouraged women to fight for such controversial rights as equal pay, maternity leave, and abortion. Betty Friedan helped women begin to think outside the box and realize that our worth lies in much more than our ability to get married and have children. It is difficult to grasp the immensity of what Friedan and other prominent women have done for me, especially for men who have always had the rights my gender had to fight for. My meditation for today will focus on the struggles of women in our country as well as the extreme difficulties facing women around the world. For more information on how you can help women, visit the bipartisan National Council of Women's Organizations.

Seeking Legitimacy and Peace

For year the US and Israel have been saying that they will not talk to Hamas because they are a terrorist organization and have no legitimacy. Finally, having realized that we were serious, Hamas decided to legitimacy themselves and run as a political party. Then, having won the election, and therefore, legitimacy as it has been described worldwide, Hamas offers to share power with the opposing party. It still refuses to recognize Israel's right to exist, but Hamas IS the elected party and has the freedom to do as it pleases. Democracy has a dark side.

There are several ways this could go. The US and Israel could back down on their pledge not to talk to Hamas, mostly because the leader of the organization made an excellent point. What if leaders from all over the world stopped negotiating with various countries based only on who had been elected? And democratically, at that! This may not be a choice we like, but Hamas has been elected and they do run the country. Not talking with them could mean war. And the US will most likely support Israel militarily, which would probably result in a draft here. Our economy would take another hit that we can't afford. Bad things would happen. So I'm hoping everyone swallows their pride and takes a seat at the table.

My thoughts are with Israel and the concern they must be feeling at this volatile time in their part of the world. May their courage, strength, and unwavering faith sustain them.

I Am a Sellout

Senator Rick Santorum came to speak to students at our school yesterday as a publicity stunt, both for the school and for the Iraq war. Suprisingly, he offered to answer questions. I have to say, I'm proud of my boys. They didn't let the Senator off too easily, but there was one question about his speech I desperately wanted to ask: Why did you refer to 9/11 when justifying the Iraq war even though no connection has been established between Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden?

I don't know how we can talk about free speech in America when I know for a fact that asking that question would have gotten me fired. If I were teaching in a public school, asking that question would have gotten me a discipline slip at the very least. We have become a nation so afraid of what people think and how they will react that we censor ourselves to protect our families and our jobs. I had a teacher who told me, "Doing the easy thing is rarely right and doing the right thing is rarely easy". I am ashamed to say that yesterday, I did the EASY thing even though I knew with all of my heart that it wasn't the RIGHT thing. I set a bad example for my students, and taught them to keep their mouths shut even when they come across something they KNOW is wrong.

Sororities

I went to a Women's College and we used to joke that we didn't need sororities on campus because we were one. There was relatively little pressure on the dating front because men weren't generally around campus. For those who wanted to go Greek, there was a large University just down the street. Their sororities didn't recruit our women, but they didn't turn them away, either.

After reading Pledged by Alexandra Robbins, I was glad to have been sheltered from all of that. My college boyfriend was Greek, Phi Delta Theta to be exactly (just like my Daddy), so I got to observe the who process from the outside. I sent time in the frat house, went to formal, semi-formal, etc... and watched as girls who had previously ignored my boyfriend fell all over him once he was a brother. At least he was too smitten with me to notice!

Anyway, there was some scary information in the book, such as the fact that pipes at sorority house corrode at an alarming rate due the stomach acid that is constantly flushed through them. For the same reason, maintenance is called often to the house to clean out pipes clogged with vomit. I won't give away too much of the book, but you should know that over 75% of sorority girls have been sexually assaulted, most often by a fraternity member.

No, It's Not.

A personal disease cannot be controlled. A person becomes stricken with disease through no fault of their own. They are accosted from within, ravaged by pain, and humbled by their own mortality. Families are pillaged to pay medical costs. The individual emotional distress can be overwhelming. Cancer and bipolar disorder fall into the category of personal disease.

A societal disease is an affliction that cannot be controlled by the entity effected by it. Whether it is slow and degenerative (like religion) or swift and chaotic (like AIDS), the results are often devastating. Many of these diseases can be constrained by legal restrictions or common sense for a period of time before exploding on a world-scale. Drug and alcohol addiction fall into the category of societal disease, not personal disease.

So everyone say it with me: Drug and Alcohol addiction is NOT A PERSONAL DISEASE. Why? Because a person can decide at any time to put the beer down and back away from the cocaine. No higher power is required. There is only one step. Personal responsibility is a necessary lesson in life, and many people fail the test (and ruin it for the rest of us) by refusing to learn to partake without excess.

Forget the excuses. Addiction runs in my family, too. In fact, it runs in every family. Just because no one calls someone who plays video games 12 hours a day an addict doesn't mean he's not one. We all use escapes, some more obsessively than others. To practice them in moderation is the key, but you must be taught to do so. Temperance is not something that is seen often in America, and many of our societal ills have a lot to do with what we teach our children. If we teach people to refrain from drug and alcohol use, we are not teaching them to live in the world around them. There is a time and a place (and a limit) for everything, and addicts have not learned to recognize that fact.

Dazed...

When President Bush mentioned last April that a court order was required for a wiretap, he forgot to mention that a court order cannot be obtained for domestic communications. Under President Carter, the Attorney General could approve electronic surveillance to acquire foreign intelligence information without a court order as long as it did not involve "the contents of any communication to which a United States person is a party." That's important. It means that the government cannot eavesdrop on our conversations without a warrant, as long as the conversation is taking place on United States soil. Under President Clinton, the Attorney General could approve physical searches to aquire foreign intelligence information without a court order as long as they did not involve "the premises, information, material, or property of a United States person." This is also important. It means that the government cannot search our houses, cars, records, etc..., without a warrant as long as they are on United States soil. President Bush authorized searches or surveillance of American citizens on United States soil, which is against the law. Presidents Clinton and Carter did not "do it, too". The Drudge Report didn't quite get it right.

Throughout this administration I've been wondering when all this will start catching up with the President and his boy Dick, and it's beginning. It didn't look good for them when there were no weapons of mass destruction. They did a pretty good job of not playing the blame game when it came to the CIA leaks. They even managed to convince people that they did not feel they were "above the law" in the torture arena. But this wire tapping thing, this is serious. But finally, a judge is so disgusted that he has quit. The new President of Bolivia called our President a terrorist. A senator is suggesting censure. I wouldn't mind hearing calls for impeachment, but I can wait until after the holidays.

Freedom From Want

This is another one I think should be reworded. I think this should have been stated as, "freedom from need". No one is ever free from want. There's always something bigger or better or more beautiful, and it's only natural to desire those things. But it's the needs Teddy Roosevelt was trying to take care of.

He wanted us to have affordable shelter, which is steadily becoming an impossibility for landlords to provide and renters to find. He knew that healthier workers were more productive, and so he thought health care for those who couldn't afford it was a good idea. The problem is, now most Americans can't afford health care without some help from their employer. He thought we should be fed at least once a day if we weren't working, and should be able to afford three squares if we were. The price of organic food is so high only a small percentage of the population can afford it. Processed and engineered food is so expensive that even soldiers and teachers are on food stamps. The air we breathe and the water we drink is polluted.

We are not and can never be free from want, and even Mr. Roosevelt was aware of that. It would be nice, though, to know that we can take care of the basic necessities of life without morgaging our futures and closing out our bank accounts.

Freedom of Speech

I think this is a natural succession from the Freedom From Fear post. Fear is what limits our freedom of speech. Censorship is nothing more than the fear that people will repeat what they hear or that someone will be offended by what is said. I'm pretty sure the Bill of Rights doesn't grant the freedom of speech as long as it doesn't offend anyone. One of my favorite quotes is from a song Fern's friend wrote. "PMAC (Parents Music Advisory Committee), you are not my parents and never will be." Warning labels on music, videos, TV shows, and video games are really for lazy parents who don't take the time to find these things out for themselves before allowing their children to listen to, play with, or view them. Putting an age limit on the purchase of such material is also wrong. If parents don't know what their kids are buying, that's their problem.

Here's another one of my favorite quotes, this time by someone much more famous. Voltaire said, "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Besides the whole perjury and yelling fire in a crowded room thing, I think people should say anything they choose and must be prepared to be judged by what they say. No one should ever have to apologize for their words if they mean them. In fact, it takes a much bigger person to stand behind a view that is unpopular than it does to apologize for making their true feelings known.

Freedom from Fear

Despite President Roosevelt's carefully written and well-meaning words decades ago, I do not feel free from fear. In fact, I believe my government has become the personification of fear.

As a woman, I am afraid. I am terrified that myself or my child will be raped, become pregnant, and be forced to have the baby when the decision of what to do with our own bodies is finally taken out of our hands. I fear I have few advocates within the government. Women make up a small percentage of all three branches even though we are a little more than 50% of the population. Maybe affirmative action isn't just for schools and businesses anymore. I am afraid that I will not be able to afford the health care that being a women entails - regular visits to a gynecologist, birth control, breast exams, etc... I am afraid that my child will eventually be sent off to fight in a war that has no merit, no benefit, and no hope of being "won".

As an educator, I am afraid. I shudder at the thought that my lessons will have to be scripted to ensure that they are preparing students for standardized testing. I fear that I will be forced to pass students who have not earned a passing grade so that the "success rate" of the school looks good on paper. I already have too many students who come to me in 8th grade not being able to write a coherent sentence, form a decent paragraph, or read anything longer than two pages. I am afraid that I am failing them, that I am not doing enough to fight for them, and that in the end, this will be a less educated nation because I was too scared to stand up for them and therefore, lose my job.

As a citizen, I am afraid. I do not trust that those in government are looking out for the best interests of their non-corporate constituents. I do not believe that my tax money is being spent responsibly. I fear that accountability and transparency in government are things of the past and we are moving toward an era of secrecy and betrayal. I feel that my government is an intruder, not a protector. I am afraid that in 10 years, we will all be speaking Chinese. I am afraid to run for office because I know my privacy will be invaded, those around me will be targets, and every mistake I have ever made will be quietly scrutinized and made public when it suits my opponent.

We are not free from fear. We are a nation of people cowering under our beds, waiting for the White House to crash down around us any minute. We have become used to fear, almost comfortable with it, and do more to ignore it than to rid ourselves of it. Isn't it about time we refuse to be afraid?

Do No Harm: Self

The idea that someone else has the right to decide what we do with or to our bodies is absurd. There is something to be said for the survival of the fittest, and there comes a time when compassion must be balanced with caution. Removing personal responsibility from the person can only be a recipe for a disaster. While there are people who mentally or physically cannot care for themselves, the majority of us should be on our own. That is not to say that help should not be provided to us, but whether to seek or accept that help is our responsibility. For any government to suggest that they have the right to limit our personal choices is arrogant beyond belief. To do so is to say, "we know better than you", when in fact, they don't.

If a person wants to end their life, it is their choice. In some situations, ending one's life is the highest form of honor, in others, it is simply an act of mercy. If a person is experiencing chronic and unrelenting pain, dealing with a chronic or terminal illness, or suffering from a degenerative disease, the option to end their lives without consequence should be available to them. If someone wants to kill themselves simply because life has become too difficult for them, by all means, allow them to do so, after reminding them that their family will not be able to claim their life insurance. It is their life, and by definition, their choice, assuming, of course, that they are of legal age and not suffering from mental illness of some sort.

Chemical substances of any kind should be regulated, clearly labeled, and seriously considered before they are used. Organic substances, however, should be consumed at will. Each of us is responsible for what we knowingly put into our bodies. Why should anyone else get to decide how much I eat, drink, or smoke if I am doing it in the confines of my own home? We should all be held responsible for our own overuse as well. Medical conditions resulting from abuse of any substance should not be covered by the government, nor should the government be responsible for the detoxification or rehabilitation of anyone who overindulged.