I know this won't be well recieved, but I thought it was funny. NOTE: This is about Fundamentalist (Evengelical/Born-Again/Charismatic) Christians. It's meant to be a JOKE, but it has some good points.
You know you're a fundamentalist Christian when...
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
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Who will rage against the dying of the light? People should not be afraid of their government. A government should be afriad of its people.
Who will rage against the dying of the light? People should not be afraid of their government. A government should be afriad of its people.
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21 comments:
As I am taking an ethics class and required to study fallacies, I must point out your "humorous" (in your opinion anyway) post is full of hasty generalizations and questionable claims. It is obviously inflamatory and offensive, but I assume you know that and don't care.
Hmmmmm. Could be attributed to all religions of which I am familiar.
I recall you mentioned that you are a Buddhist. Much of the Buddhists present day philosophy is contrary to the teachings of Buddha. For instance, build no idols to me for I am not a God. Or the belief that his followers should do everything in moderation. (Not torching ones self to make a point.) I was particularly moved by his profound messages about tolerance.
Many of your posts have a secular tone. I am assuming that it reflects a general disrespect of people’s individual faiths and the Christian faith in particular. Of course, your faith being the exception.
not funny.
Gabriel,
Just because Christians are taught to treat people a certain way doesn't mean they do. Tolerance is something very few Christians I've met are good at.
Always,
I didn't write it. I posted it because it's usually true and makes a lot of sense. Offending people is never an issue. Free speech does not only apply to things that don't offend anyone.
Looking,
It can be attributed to all Judeo-Christian religions. I don't go by the current teaching. I read the original texts. I subscribe to the original belief that it is a philosophy and not a religions. I do not attend temple, speak to a priest, or make offerings. I do not have a faith. I call myself Buddhisy because it best describes my ideas, but I do not believe in god, creation, or any other religious stuff. I think all religion is silly, but people believe what they want. My main problem is when people try to use religion as an argument for or against soemthign. It does nto belong in politics.
TS,
You're right. It's so true that it's scary.
Just because you have a right in this country to be inflammatory and offensive doesn't mean you should be. And stating that stuff like that is "usually true" is a false statement. You are basing that on your perception and experience and that doesn't make it a statistical fact.
For someone who claims to "not hate" Christians, you sure do go out of your way to show otherwise.
How exactly do you define hate? To find Christianity silly and many FUNDAMENTALIST Christians hypocrites does not mean I hate them. It just means that when they discuss something from a position of religion, I don't think they have any merit. This is usually true in the FUNDAMENTALIST Christians I have met.
PC: I think if any one of your posters bashed Muslims you would be warming up your delete button. Something you may want to consider given your claim to fairness and superior intellegence. Nearly all of the people in the world have some form of faith in a higher power. I have not seen where one person has posted here a slam at you for not beleiving as they do. What's really up?
Hate: intense dislike, loathe, detest, have hostility toward...
Shall I go on? To post a "humorous" message that spews falsehoods and antagonistic rhetoric, is hateful. Plus you're generalizing. Your opening remarks stated that this is about Fundamentalists (Evangelical/Born-Again/Charismatic). That's a whole lot of people you're insulting, whether you wrote it yourself, or you're just spreading the news.
I believe I stated that it was about SOME people, meaning that I acknowledged it was a generalization. If I had seen one about Muslims, I would have posted it as well.
I am tired of the Holier Than Thou approach many Christians take to politics and morality. I am tired of theocracy creeping into government. I am tired of having to pretend that it's okay that so many people believe in a mythical man when a child who does the same is called "disturbed". It's not real. I think people who are this involved in Dungeons and Dragons are pretty silly as well.
Actually, you said it's "usually" true, so you are implying that it's MOST people, not some. I stand by my assertion that your experience is not necessarily an adequate sampling of all "fundamental" Christians as you label them.
PC - I'll respectfully sit out of this one. I don't get involved in religious discussions.
Gabriel,
You're right, the probably weren't true Christians. But to me, the hypocracy is only part of the problem. If you believe that Jesus was the son of god, that's fine, but I think it illustrates a drastic flaw in your reasonng skills. If I beleived in Zeus with the same zeal you believe in Christ, you would think I was crazy. You can follow the teachings of Jesus without believeing he was part god or thsat he was immaculately concieved, which you really have to give credit to Mary for. She's kept the true identity of her baby daddy hidden for 2000 years. Good for her. But it doesn't make it true. Plus, most of the parables come directl from Buddhist teachigns, and historians believe that it was more likely than not that even though Jesus was an ethnic Jew, he studied with the Buddhists. It's also fairly likely that he took peyote and smoked marijuana, as it was EXTREMELY common then and used for a variety of medicinal purposes. I know the history of the Christian religion, which is why I think it's silly. It started the same way as the Greek and Roman myths, the Hindu myths, and the Buddhist teachings. Religions are simply a way to explain the unexplainable and give people hope for the future because life is hard. Historically, the more difficult life is, the more peole believe. Yet, so rarely do they do anything to help themselves because this life is no biggie, it will be better in the next. Religion keeps people complacent. It's very nature is non-progressive, and in order for us to survive, we need to keep moving forward.
Polanco,
I am amazed that after all the blog discussions you and I have had that you are still resorting to such elementary fallacious tactics.
Always Questioning is correct, you are resorting to Hasty Generalizations, False Causes, Red Herrings, you name it. It's a "Vanity Fair" of fallacies.
Deares Polanco, you can scour the earth and find quite a few bad examples of those who call themselves Christians. Get over it! We have! You keep attributing a lack of credibility to Christ with the failings of his followers. Your problem IS WITH HIM! You can't overlook Jesus, no matter how you try. And as I see it, you and He are in a battle for your soul, and you are desparately trying to avoid it with desparate tactics.
You are just as capable of finding wonderful examples of Christlikeness in true Christians, which, far outweigh the bad; and, that really irks you. Your fallacies fail; you need to face that which you fear most, the existence of a God in Jesus Christ who loves you and gave himself to you so that he may have your love for Him in return.
I'm praying for you, PC, that you make the jump that you've been avoiding, and once you do, you'll be glad you did. I finally did; it was and is WORTH IT!
Actually this wasn't meant to be a joke, it is one of a series that was produced by a psychology professor for use in the classroom. Back in the days when I had and needed files, I had in my files one like it addressed to Buddists, one for Muslims, one for Mormons, one for Catholics, one for each of about four branches of Hinduism, etc. I (and many other teachers) used them in class to illustrate how phenomena are viewed through different paradigmatic filters (a lot like the pictures that, looked at one way, look like an old crone or witch, looked at from another perspective look like a pretty young lady, if you have taken a semantics class, a persuasion class or a psychology class or read The Seven Habits of Successful People you have probably seen these.)
Gabriel,
I want to thank you for continuing this discussion even though we are on completely opposite sides.
There have been thousands of gods since humans have had some reasoning skills. Since all of the others have been dismissed as myths, it is logical to assume that your god is also mythological. I was under the impression that Jesus himself never confirmed or denied that he was the Son of God. If he believed it himself, why is he less crazy than any other man who had claimed he was the Son of God. Why can't I claim to be the Daughter of God? I could get people to believe it and start following me. It would be a great thesis for a PhD in theology. Jones proved it's not as difficult as one might think. Why was Jones nuts and not Christ?
Christianity is not needed to determine a system of morality. This can be detrimined when a group of people settle on a few rules. I will post on a system of morallity soon to explain exatly what I mean and why a god or religion is not needed.
Underground,
I admit there are good people within the Christain faith. In fact, a good friend of mine is a devout Christian. We talk about our students, go shopping, and have lunch. She's a very smart woman and I respect the direction she has taken her career. She prays for me. I don't mind because prayer is positive thought, and we all need a little of that sent our way on occasion. She gives me articles to read about Intelligent Design, and has suggested more than a few books. We discuss them, and when we do, I really get more insight into why she needs to believe the things she does. When she talks about god, no matter how much I love her, I just want to pat her on the head like you would a child. A child who still believes in fairytales. And the tooth fairy. And Santa Claus. Jesus is no different. He comes with a bunch of stories that illustrate a good way to live your life. So does King Aurthor. Nothing outweighs the fact that millions of people try to convince the rest of us that their belief in a fairytale is more true than scientific fact.
I don't have to look very far to find examples of bad Christians. I'm surrounded by them.
If you are going to pray for me, pray that my family gets the money they need to pay for my sister's healthcare. Pray that the closing on our house will go smoothly. Pray that I find a good job. Pray that I get funding for my school. I'm not going to become a Christian. No amount of praying will change that. And why would you pray for someone to forget about their own convictions and choose your instead?
Three Score,
I would love to know where you got these, as I a against all forms of religion, and not only Christianity.
Actually there was also a similar shot at atheists and agnostics (I forgot to mention them.) I wish I could remember who wrote them. I received them at a convention of the Speech Communication Association of America about fifteen years ago. I think it was at a meeting of teachers of General Semantics, but it could have been Pschology of Speech or any one of a dozen programs. I used them in my classes for a long time. Unfortunately, when I retired I dumped a lot of the stuff that was in hard copy.
Polanco,
Sounds like you have quite a load to carry. Of course I will pray for the cares you listed. However, it may not be up to you if you decide to convert or not. And, against your wishes, I will pray for your conversion. Not to spite you though. You make assertions about the fairytale nature of God that if you flip your faith in the opposite direction, will find out why Christians put up with the condescension and placating remarks; Jesus Christ is worth suffering any level of adversity anyone can through at us.
May you find great joy someday that I and others who read your blog prayed for your conversion against your will.
So long for now.
http://www.newchristian.org.uk/goodperson.html
According to The Once and Future King, a child can be turned into a fish with the wave of a wand. Merlin performed a miracle or two. They're just stories. The only difference is, you will always believe yours are true. I have the ability to recognize myth when I see it. Any sentence that begins with "According to the Bible..." is immediately dismissable. The bible is just a book, one of the first major works of fiction, and should be recognized as such.
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